I’ve shared a lot about what’s worked for me while parenting my three little ones (all seven and under)—what’s helped our family dynamic and strengthened communication in parenting. For example, I’ve written about coaching a shy child to build confidence and communicate and about teaching kids how to interact confidently with trusted adults.
But I also want to be honest.
Some of the most important parenting communication skills I’ve learned didn’t come from success. They came from moments of emotional overwhelm, missteps, and realizing—sometimes painfully—that I needed help.
This is a story about parenting during hard seasons, and what it taught me about communication with my partner, with myself, and ultimately with my children.
Pregnant in a Pandemic
I was pregnant with Kaveh in 2020—a true pandemic baby.
I had just returned from a work trip to China in late January and unexpectedly got pregnant almost immediately. It was a sharp contrast to the years of stress, failed attempts, and heartbreak it took to conceive my first child.
When lockdowns began in early March, I felt a surprising sense of relief. I could work from home, avoid commuting, and manage pregnancy aches quietly.
That relief didn’t last long.
Emotional Overwhelm in Early Parenting
A few months into lockdown, exhaustion crept in.
We had limited childcare, constant anxiety about getting sick, and a toddler at home. Nayakan had just turned two—sweet, affectionate, curious, and in need of near-constant supervision.
During the week, we were lucky to have a dependable nanny. On weekends, I found myself strategizing how to tire him out enough so we could both rest.
This was my first real experience with emotional overwhelm in early parenting—the kind that quietly builds when needs go unnamed.
Five Days Away From My Firstborn
Two months before my due date, doctors grew concerned that the baby might be underweight. Weekly stress tests followed, bringing a new layer of anxiety.
When induction day arrived, I was eager to meet Kaveh. What I didn’t expect was a three-day labor followed by two more days of monitoring his weight.
By the time we were discharged, five days had passed—five days without seeing Nayakan.
I missed him terribly.
When we finally came home, he greeted us with excitement and curiosity. I wish I could say the transition was smooth.
It wasn’t.
The Breaking Point No One Prepares You For
Kaveh struggled to latch, and doctors urged me to do everything possible to help him gain weight. That meant nursing and pumping from day one—physically exhausting and emotionally draining.
Meanwhile, Nayakan desperately wanted my attention. When he couldn’t get it, he melted down.
My husband often took him out to give me space, but on days without childcare, the prep work—snacks, diapers, logistics—still fell on me. Add endless laundry from spit-up and baby clothes, and it became unsustainable.
Then came the moment I still remember clearly.
We were in the backyard. Nayakan was having a tantrum. I was holding a cup of cold water.
In a moment of complete overwhelm, I dumped it on his head—on purpose.
It didn’t stop the tantrum.
And I immediately burst into tears—half laughing, half crying—because I knew I had reached my limit.
That moment forced me to confront something I had been avoiding: I didn’t know how to ask for help as a parent.
Learning to Ask for Help as a Parent
I told my husband I couldn’t do everything anymore.
We sat down and made a plan. I would focus on nursing and caring for the baby. He would take on more responsibility with Nayakan—including the prep work I had been quietly carrying.
At night, we split duties creatively so both kids were cared for and we could get some rest.
It was a season—an intense one—and we survived it.
That same principle—learning to step back and let someone else take the lead—is something we later practiced intentionally when teaching our kids to communicate and negotiate with each other.
Postpartum Communication Challenges Are Real
That period taught me this: the communication skills parents need most aren’t only about how we talk to our children.
They’re about communication with your partner after having a baby.
They’re about naming your limits as a parent.
They’re about recognizing postpartum communication challenges before resentment takes root.
Even after things stabilized, my husband and I still felt disconnected at times. Parenting during the first year postpartum stretched us in ways we didn’t fully anticipate.
So we decided to work with a marriage counselor.
Just taking that step strengthened our marriage after having a baby. It helped us navigate hard conversations, prioritize time together with a regular babysitter, and approach each other more openly when we felt overwhelmed.
Later, I learned that marital satisfaction often declines during the first year after a baby is born. Knowing that helped me feel less alone—and less like something was “wrong” with us.
What Parenting During Hard Seasons Taught Me
Here’s what I want to leave you with:
Sometimes the communication skills we most need to strengthen as parents aren’t just with our kids.
They’re with our partners.
And with ourselves.
Managing stress as a new parent isn’t about doing more—it’s about learning to say when something is too much. Learning to ask for help. Learning to name the need before it turns into burnout.
Those are the parenting communication skills that last.
A Reflection for You
So I’ll leave you with this question:
What’s one need you’ve been carrying silently—and what would it feel like to name it?
You don’t need perfect words.
Noticing the need is already a powerful first step.